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returntothepit >> discuss >> Davefromthegrave = packetkiddie? by Davidfromthegravid on Jul 13,2005 10:22pm
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by Davidfromthegravid at Jul 13,2005 10:22pm
(Saugus, MA) This just in:

Nototrious East Manor kiddie toucher correctly identified as sketchy discussion board lurker, Davefromthegrave, was apprehended Monday night in a shocking child sex-ring dragnet. Police were clued into his abhorrent (not cool in a metal way) lifestyle due to his countess "jokes" about kids, penises, lil'amber, and Manowar references on the famous Return To The Pit web chat forum.
An anonomous board member was quoted as saying that "Dave never really fit in and everyone thought that he was pretty creepy. Plus, he had this thing for Lita Ford which, despite her collaboration with Ozzy, is totally uncool."
Davefromthegrave was lured into a bizare sex trap by Sargeant Amber Jacobs (aka lil' Amber) and her partner, Joey DeMaio (aka lead singer of Manowar) at a Saugus, MA rest stop. Davefromthegrave was unable to make the $20,000 bail. His relatives were surprised when his metal collection only yeilded $40 on ebay. Apparently people just aren't paying much for Faster Pussycat anymore.



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Jul 13,2005 10:31pm
how come he gets all the credit?



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 10:42pm
how long did you spend writing that?



toggletoggle post by WangfromMang at Jul 13,2005 10:45pm
I just read that in the Boston Globe!



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 10:47pm
WangfromMang said:
I just read that in the Boston Globe!


and then you larped it out, dungeons & dragons style.



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 10:47pm
Wang, eh? I don't believe it.



toggletoggle post by MC Gusto at Jul 13,2005 10:48pm
Yo Punk,
Where you locked up? We don't have computers in Cell Block 4.
Being locked down for kiddie porn ain't gangsta and it ain't metal neither. You get stuck with a shiv for that where I'm comin' from at yo!



toggletoggle post by Loremaster at Jul 13,2005 10:49pm
Don't desicrate the almighty role playing game



toggletoggle post by Gatekeeper Toadd Cruthbert at Jul 13,2005 10:51pm
Anyone want to meet up at the Derry Coffee House tonight for some D & D ?



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 10:51pm
your posts get more and more putrid as time goes on. If you're spending this much time thinking about me, Why don't you just come over here and suck my cock?



toggletoggle post by DavidFromTheGravid at Jul 13,2005 10:54pm
Hey Dave,
Did you have Bruce Heffernan ghost write this for you?
http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4127



toggletoggle post by Glamm Danzig at Jul 13,2005 10:55pm



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 10:58pm
*cricket*



*cricket*



toggletoggle post by CricketFromTheGrave at Jul 13,2005 10:59pm
HERE'S DAVE BOWING BEFORE THE GRAVE



toggletoggle post by Jerry at Jul 13,2005 11:00pm
Dave looks a lot like my friend George



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Jul 13,2005 11:03pm
i like faster pussycat



toggletoggle post by Faster Pussycat at Jul 13,2005 11:08pm
Thanks so much for your interest, KeithMutiny. Here is another shot of our band photo. From left to right, we are: John Bon Jovi, Steven Tyler, Matt Dillon, Izzy Stradlin, and Slash 2 (kinda like Gallagher 2, he is Slash's brother).



toggletoggle post by DaveFromTheGrill at Jul 13,2005 11:20pm
Dave,
Your name is a copyright violation. As soon as you get out of the big house expect a whopping lawsuit from the Wendy's corporation.
(the use of the word whopping is in no way a reference to my competitors burger)



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 11:21pm
DaveFromTheGrill said:

(the use of the word whopping is in no way a reference to my competitors burger


or your penis



toggletoggle post by Drummer Boi at Jul 13,2005 11:22pm
Yo Dave,
This is the real me eating your jailburgers. Come and get me.



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at Jul 13,2005 11:23pm
I'm bored with you. adios.



toggletoggle post by Taco Bell at Jul 13,2005 11:27pm
Adois? You prefer Mexican? Now you're talking guerilla style!



toggletoggle post by Diamond Dave at Jul 13,2005 11:31pm
Goodnight Dave. Have a nice siesta. We'll chat more next wednesday, hombre.



toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Jul 13,2005 11:37pm
AAAAAA AHHHHHH HEEOOOOWWW



toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Jul 13,2005 11:38pm
Thats davefromtheLeeRoth



toggletoggle post by Diamond Dave at Jul 13,2005 11:39pm
There is a god among us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Powerkok



toggletoggle post by DavidLeeGravid at Jul 13,2005 11:40pm
PowerkokfromtheAlmighty is the king



toggletoggle post by Mc Gusto at Jul 13,2005 11:41pm
yo, i mostly listen to rap but powerkok AND David Lee Roth get mad props



toggletoggle post by Toadd Cruthberg at Jul 13,2005 11:42pm
There are diamonds, there are Daves, (there are even some graves) but Powerkok is immortal.



toggletoggle post by ryan from HBBSI never logs in at Jul 14,2005 1:55am
davefromthegrave said:
DaveFromTheGrill said:

(the use of the word whopping is in no way a reference to my competitors burger


or your penis


ohhh snap




toggletoggle post by STRAIGHT OUTTA LOCASH at Jul 14,2005 2:45am
GUSTO! GUSTO! YOU STOLE MY NAME! WHEN I GET OUT IM COMIN FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU



toggletoggle post by CB4 IN THA MOTHAFUCKIN HOOOUUUUSE! at Jul 14,2005 2:56am

Yeah Gusto's in the motherfuckin house
with my man Dead Mike!
We breakin motherfuckers off 24-7!
So check this shit out!
Aiyyo Gusto... (whassup?)
KICK THAT SHIT!!!

Straight Outta Locash
A crazy mothafucka named Gusto
I fucked ya wife, cause the bitch is a big hoe
I fucked ya sister, I fucked ya cat
I would have fucked ya mom but the bitch is too fat!
When I'm in ya neighborhood, ya betta dig a moat
cause I'm comin to slit... ya motherfuckin throat!
Blood is drippin, I'm not slippin
Bitches panties, is what I'm rippin
Rollin faster than a motherfuckin dirt bike
Never met a piece of pussy that I didn't like
Like to eat it, like to suck it
Take a shit... in a bucket; Straight Outta Locash!!!

Crazy motherfuckers, hah hah!
(Where you from, nigga?)

Comin straight out of Locash,
a crazy motherfucker named Dead Mike
So get ready cause you're goin for a long hike
off a cliff, I'm drivin you over
Now ya dead with ya fo' leaf clover
Float like a cannonball, sting like a shark
I'm the nigga waitin for you in the dark
Waitin to rob you, waitin to beat you
A bullet in ya head is how I greet you (whassup nigga?)
A villain with a hat, and it's like that
I tied yo' moms to a motherfuckin train track
Flat on her back, I give her some crack
It's ten o'clock - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YO MOMS IS AT?
At my house (doin what?) wipin her ass
She had to move... STRAIGHT OUTTA LOCASH!!!



toggletoggle post by Dwizzight Yo Yo Yokam at Jul 15,2005 9:58am
* cricket *


* cricket *



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