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returntothepit >> discuss >> True romance by pam nli on May 25,2006 1:06pm
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toggletoggle post by pam nli at May 25,2006 1:06pm
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" his will keep her on her toes. And girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "fuck you" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for bitching you at the party.

~~~> 13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what I'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. She'll say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you fucking baby. Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

26. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call.



toggletoggle post by whiskey_weed_and_women  at May 25,2006 1:09pm
i thought this was about the movie



toggletoggle post by hungtableed at May 25,2006 1:10pm
hahahahaha
me too



toggletoggle post by pam nli at May 25,2006 1:10pm
good movie.



toggletoggle post by whiskey_weed_and_women  at May 25,2006 1:11pm
pam nli said:
good movie.


good movie, good movie its one of thee greatest flicks ever, its got everything



toggletoggle post by Yeti at May 25,2006 1:17pm
that sounds like the testament of Richhorror



toggletoggle post by pam nli at May 25,2006 1:19pm
Yeti said:
that sounds like the testament of Richhorror



I thought of him the whole time I was reading it.



toggletoggle post by litacore   at May 26,2006 12:36am
pam nli said:
good movie.


Italians were spawned by niggers...which makes you part...EGGPLANT!

(Christopher Walken retorts, through tears of laughter): You're a CANTELOPE!



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at May 26,2006 12:40am
litacore said:
pam nli said:
good movie.


Italians were spawned by niggers...which makes you part...EGGPLANT!

(Christopher Walken retorts, through tears of laughter): You're a CANTELOPE!


i love that scene



toggletoggle post by BlackoutRick at May 26,2006 12:54pm
"This muthafucka thought it was Whiteboy Day! It ain't Whiteboy Day is it?"



toggletoggle post by whiskey_weed_and_women  at May 26,2006 1:00pm
naw man it aint whiteboy day



toggletoggle post by BlackoutRick at May 26,2006 1:03pm
Brilliant!!

Best part is when that chick whips the bag of coke at that dork and it gets all over his face right in front of a cop!!



toggletoggle post by blue nli at May 26,2006 1:58pm
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA



toggletoggle post by ConquerTheBaphomet  at May 26,2006 5:50pm
This is one of the funniest things I have EVER read.



toggletoggle post by blue  at May 26,2006 6:06pm
pam nli said:
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny..





toggletoggle post by aterribleguitarist nli at May 26,2006 8:10pm
whiskey_weed_and_women said:
pam nli said:
good movie.


good movie, good movie its one of thee greatest flicks ever, its got everything


It is one of the greatest ever...but would have been even better if they didn't make Tarantino change the ending!!!!!!

Everyone was supposed to die, dammit!!!!!



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