If you could roll every aspect of being a badass into one guy, it would be Clive Owen in Shoot 'Em Up. I've owned this for months but just finally got around to watching it. HOLY FUCK. I've heard people bitch about it being "predictable" and other nonsense. To those people I say fuck you. This movie is fucking amazing. Here are some key aspects of the movie, with no spoilers:

-A man is killed by a carrot
-Well, technically several men are killed by carrots
-Clive Owen kills a bunch of dudes while fucking Monica Bellucci
-A man and his dog share delicious treats
-A baby loves heavy metal
-A dude gets his Prince Albert removed in a makeshift manner
-Gun fight falling from a plane

Anyone who hasn't seen this movie and considers themselves a man or a badass needs to watch this movie and appreciate the fuck out of it.

I got killed by a carrot once. True story.

And you live to tell about it?!

Oh man..that carrot shit was ridiculous...with the eye?! I yelped like a mini schnauzer getting it's cock ripped off.

I laughed like a man watching a mini schnauzer getting its cock ripped off.

Agreed.

Nearly plotless, pure violence porn.

Exactly what we need more of in movies, seriously.

I won't lie...I kiiiiiind of wanted to see Giamotti shove his blazingly hot gun barrel up that slut's box.

I agree. It offends my friends, but although I like literature and all that, for movies and TV I want unadulterated violence. No high art. But isn't that what movies are for?

I got in an unfortunate debate with someone over the "philosophy" in the latest Batman film. I was like, dude, I was paying no attention to the "philosophy" in that film -- it was all about kicking Heef's ass.

It was okay. I probably would've liked it better if I waatched it on a good TV with surround sound instead of my computer.

I watched it on my sweet surround sound and a big TV and it definitely made it all seem a lot more fierce. I saw parts of it at Dave Maggot's house on a regular TV and it was still badass, just not as intense.

Mikearchaeon was telling me how much this movie rules.

Mike is a good man.

Movie was better than i expected.

Amongst all the senseless violence, there were some really clever parts. One of these parts being the way Smith rigged up all the guns in the Hammerson building. So sweet.