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returntothepit >> discuss >> This is what happens when Dave Maggot is sick and Mark Richards is bored. by MarkFuckingRichards on Sep 23,2008 5:35pm
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toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Sep 23,2008 5:35pm
The scenario: A 19 year old fat, bisexual Mexican dude from Chelsea tried to pick me up yesterday. Dave and I acted out how it should have gone down via AIM. Bored Composted is bored.

TheMetalOfMaggot (5:13:37 PM): hey sexy american boy, let me snarfle your mayo hose
meamogre (5:13:54 PM): hell yeah let me get yo back wet
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:14:38 PM): can we play bathtub scuba submarine gerbil attack tonight?
meamogre (5:15:01 PM): only if you sing me pickle surprise
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:15:29 PM): i'll sing into your hog like john travolta on meth
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:15:54 PM): i mean, whats pickle surprise
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:15:55 PM): ?
meamogre (5:16:07 PM): go on youtube you stupid spick
meamogre (5:16:09 PM): god
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:16:16 PM): haha LOL
meamogre (5:16:34 PM): don't laugh, i'll fuck your back rolls
meamogre (5:16:41 PM): with a wrench
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:16:58 PM): they unleash a deadly venom when threatened
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:17:13 PM): i like burritos
meamogre (5:17:28 PM): really i like burritos too. we should hang out in chelsea where you don't like it.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:18:11 PM): i'd like it if you were there. you saucey velaciraptor you
meamogre (5:18:30 PM): you spell like old people fuck. get back on the boat. ELL OH ELL.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:18:54 PM): my boat was my mom
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:19:17 PM): i took kidnergarten with a devil eagle
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:19:27 PM): eiffel tower
meamogre (5:19:40 PM): hahahahahah what the fuck. you make me cry, bisexual mexican boy
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:20:05 PM): i'll make your weiner cry, barbecue bullets
meamogre (5:20:30 PM): that's about as sexy as christ.
meamogre (5:20:35 PM): if not more
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:20:50 PM): i eat dead lizrd skin
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:20:55 PM): rarrfgghhugjhlkj
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:20:58 PM): chong
meamogre (5:21:22 PM): do you want to party with alcohol and dudez?
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:21:36 PM): oh yesh
meamogre (5:21:52 PM): ok you bring the party i'll bring the dude
meamogre (5:21:54 PM): z
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:21:58 PM): z
meamogre (5:22:03 PM): z
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:22:09 PM): i freestyle rap in my underoos
meamogre (5:22:31 PM): bust a verse, shit brick. if it sucks i'm going to rip off your sweatpants in front of your grandmother.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:22:34 PM): CAVEMAN BONER!
meamogre (5:22:41 PM): that doesn't even rhyme
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:23:30 PM): JELLY FIST TESTICAL TITS, I WASH MY GRUNDLE WITH A CROCODILE WRIST
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:23:53 PM): BEST WESTERN TURNING TRICKS
meamogre (5:24:00 PM): ::beat boxes::
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:24:10 PM): I LUNGE AT YOUR ANUS WITH A SAUSAGE KISS
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:24:24 PM): I ROCK THE HOUSE LIKE A SINK HOLE
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:24:43 PM): I LAUGH OUT LOUD WHEN I MASTURBATE WITH PIZZA ROLLS
meamogre (5:24:51 PM): this is making me wet
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:25:05 PM): COCAINE IT SEVERS MY BRAIN LIKE SCHAIVO
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:25:20 PM): SO KNOW I'L BE ON TOMORROW WITH A NEW EPISODE
meamogre (5:25:37 PM): awww shit
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:00 PM): LOCK DOWN I GOT THIS SHIT ON HOUSE ARREST
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:19 PM): WATCH ME LONG DISTANCE RUN WITH A SQUIRREL ON MY CHEST
meamogre (5:26:24 PM): hahahaha
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:31 PM): I FELCH DAFFY LIKE DUCK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:38 PM): CUZ I DONT GIVE A FUCK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:58 PM): LET ME RUN OVER CHILDREN WITH A GARBAGE TRUCK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:27:03 PM): FULL OF SEMEN
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:27:23 PM): I'M DRUG RUNNING WITH NIPPLES BEAMING
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:27:33 PM): BRINGING DOPE TO THE MASSES
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:27:49 PM): SEMEN SOAKED PILLOWS FOR A CUM SMOTHERED ASSES
meamogre (5:27:58 PM): LOL PLURAL
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:28:15 PM): CRACK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:28:20 PM): YOU KNOW I SMOKE IT
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:28:42 PM): I LOVE THAT SHIT LIKE GERMANS LOVE SHIT
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:28:45 PM): OOH
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:29:07 PM): I ROCK BIG TOES
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:29:15 PM): AND MIDGET HO'S
meamogre (5:29:20 PM): big toes wut
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:29:29 PM): CUM TO MY SHOW AND I'LL LAUGH IN YOUR NOSE
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:29:44 PM): I'M NEVER GONNA GIVE UP
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:02 PM): MY COLLECTOR'S EDITION BUTTER CUP
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:11 PM): ITS ALL I HAVE LEFT AFTER THE FIRE
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:26 PM): YOU KNOW YOUR KINGDOM CALLS ME SURE
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:33 PM): *SIRE
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:40 PM): WELL I CALL THE BITCHES
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:30:49 PM): I DONT NEED M'S
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:31:04 PM): FUCK A MOTHERFUCKING M LIKE A FUCK YO OTHER
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:31:07 PM): OTHER FUCKER
meamogre (5:31:14 PM): otha otha
meamogre (5:31:45 PM): that'll do faggot. that'll do.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:31:59 PM): HAHA
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:32:00 PM): AHHH
meamogre (5:32:15 PM): go tell your mother i want some chimichangas and an orangina.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:32:32 PM): vaginas
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:33:16 PM): cockroach soup
meamogre (5:33:22 PM): hahaha
meamogre (5:33:34 PM): this should go on return to the pit.
meamogre (5:33:42 PM): as if people don't hate us enough on there already.
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:33:43 PM): do it up





toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Sep 23,2008 5:39pm
Neither one talks to me ever. You tell me where the hates truly is.



toggletoggle post by ouchdrummer   at Sep 23,2008 5:40pm
Big Toes....WUT!!!



toggletoggle post by yummy at Sep 23,2008 7:04pm
otha otha



toggletoggle post by Murph  at Sep 23,2008 7:10pm
You know Mark, you talk to me for hours about life and all our collective bullshit, but not once, NOT ONCE did you offer to fuck my back rolls with a wrench.

Tease.



toggletoggle post by Dankill at Sep 23,2008 7:23pm
Ohhhhh now my stomach hurts from laughing too damn hard.
Thanks, you pricks.



toggletoggle post by brian_dc  at Sep 23,2008 8:06pm
goddamn that is wonderful



toggletoggle post by markfuckingrichards  at Sep 23,2008 8:28pm
Sorry Murph. How would you like to be my toolshed big boy?



toggletoggle post by theaccurseddrummer  at Sep 23,2008 8:35pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]

TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:31 PM): I FELCH DAFFY LIKE DUCK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:38 PM): CUZ I DONT GIVE A FUCK
TheMetalOfMaggot (5:26:58 PM): LET ME RUN OVER CHILDREN WITH A GARBAGE TRUCK


Easily the greatest rhyme you've ever written Mr. Maggot.



toggletoggle post by Murph  at Sep 23,2008 9:11pm
markfuckingrichards said[orig][quote]
Sorry Murph. How would you like to be my toolshed big boy?


I would sell my first-born to Ghana if I could obtain a life-sized poster of you wearing nothing but a fully-furnished tool belt.

Perhaps dressed with a 2x4 over your shoulder, winking,

You're like Jim Duggan, but hot.



toggletoggle post by markfuckingrichards  at Sep 23,2008 9:19pm
You sure know how to make a girl blush.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Sep 23,2008 10:55pm
Goddammit, that motherfucker hit on me again tonight. Why won't bisexual Mexican (we'll call him The Bisexican) accept that I do not like dudes and find somewhere else to park his dick?



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Sep 23,2008 10:57pm
COUGHfacialpiercingCOUGH



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Sep 23,2008 11:03pm
Hey man, the septum ring is brutal. I could understand if I had a Monroe or a lip piercing.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Sep 23,2008 11:04pm
I know it turns me on.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Sep 23,2008 11:05pm
Goddammit.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Sep 23,2008 11:07pm
Oh, so when these fancy daniels on the internet hit on you it's fine as wine, but when I do it's gross? Don't forget who you come home to every night.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Sep 23,2008 11:10pm
I did not say it was fine as wine. I called him a fat, bisexual wetback and berated the principle of his being via IM with Dave Maggot.

I'll always love you Richard, light of my life.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Sep 23,2008 11:11pm
RICH HORROR IS THE SIDE YOUR BREAD IS BUTTERED ON



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