aka Attn: Jimboarcorpse

So, a friend of mine is in a wee bit of trouble with the law. Kid smokes weed like Jews hoard money. Since an unfortunate incident over the weekend, he's been weaning himself down to maybe once a day and says that when his current stash is done, so is he.

He's looking for THEE most effective way to get it out of his system. Not just something that covers it up / masks it or throws off the test.

What you got, meng?

I used golden seal pills ($18) and cranberry juice and I was clean in 2 weeks. Plus I'm fat.

3 pills a day and 2 glasses of juice

tell him to do a barrel roll.

"friend"
http://www.returntothepit.com/view.php?formid=66348

Way to expose my cunning ruse, Rev. Next show you and I are at, you won't even see it coming. I'm-a steal yo peepee!

And Tony, barrel rolls only work for heron.

TELL HIM TO GET A BLOOD TRANSFUSION OR HE'S A PUSSY

theres a new thread for this like every 6 months lol

So?

there's an herbal tea thats kind of a secret, but it hyper-speeds your metabolism and flushes your liver. you drink it, and for five days eat vegan and viola, THC is flushed from your body. I had to get it through a friend that knows a friend that knows the "doctor" for the grateful dead, so good luck finding it. but It does exist.

This exists only in myth.

Goldenseal DOES help, although at a much slower rate than people would have you believe. Since the magic is stored in your fat cells, there really isn't a way to flush very quickly. The only real way to make sure you're flushed as fast as possible (which for a habitual smoker could be 2 weeks, even with the advice in this post) is to yes, take goldenseal every day, drink LOTS of water, and exercise... a lot. Like more exercise that you'll really wanna be doin. but it will work.
I guarantee that people will argue with statements i make here, but you really should trust me on this.
As far as not wanting to use something that "masks" the magic.. i understand this, because some of the masking drinks can be tested for, but if you get the right kind it is undetectable. (it's called VALE.. it works for 5 hours, and usually that's good enough.)
What I do...
I regularly get tested for drugs. Of course if i took the test honestly.. i would fail regularly as well. You should look into the "Urinator" it's a fake dick that holds powdered pee (just add water) and keeps it to temp so if they have you pee in thermometer cups you'll be good. (thermometer cups suck.) That thing's about 125. Which is a little to rich for most peoples blood. So what i recommend is to just buy the refills for the urinator. You can buy them online, get them shipped for next day, and put some in a ziplock baggie against your balls. When you're in the bathroom, fill it with warm water and BAMOO..

now if they're watching you pee, the best route would be a masking drink, or if he REALLY has two weeks, and he REALLY will work out everyday for at least an hour, take goldenseal, AND drink shit loads of water, he'll be fine. You got my number, call me for more info.

mostly what jim said about thc storing in fat cells.

I have never heard of anyone fail with the urinator. ever. only product on the market i can say that about. usually the other products fail cause people use them wrong.

just drink water. i smoke weed equivelant to about a pack of butts a day and pass drug tests with just water in 3-5 days. truth.

first 2 days pound cranberry juice. make sure it's the natural one loaded with extra antioxidants (ocean spray 100% juice like $4) not the cheap shit from concentrate (regular OS dont say 100% juice on it). then pound at least 2 gallons of water for 2 days. on the day of the test drink 2 gallons before you go. bring gatorade bottles for the car ride to the testing facility cause 2 gallons will run through you pretty quickly. you run a risk of dilluting when you douse yourself with water. sometimes dilluting will buy you an extra week to come back and re-take the test based off of non conclusive results. if you dillute 2 times in a row some places it's automatic pass some places it's automatic fail. to avoid dilluting mix said water with some food coloring to give your piss some color. also crush up a few multi vitalmins like centrum and take them with the water before you go to the piss test. the vitamins will give your dilluted piss some sort of substance to make it look like more than just water.

I have passed at least 10 tests in this fashion. never failed. never had to retest for being dilluted.

I like the centrum before the test. Never heard that before. You're a gentleman and a scholar.

Delete his system32 folder.

Asparagus ftw.

If your anywhere near Plymouth (mass) there is a store called "healthy

appetites" and they have a 24 hour detox that the army recruiting station

next door uses all the time. VERY effective.

Thanks guys <3