Some lucky crackhead in Dorchester is probably going by the name Mark W. Richards with a fistful of cash (or in other words, ALL of my money), a picture of his new girlfriend, a business card for a bodyguard/SAG actor/musician/martial artist named Muscles from Hollywood who was recently released from prison and more overdrawn credit cards than he knows what to do with. He can also reap the benefits of savings from Daddy's Junky Music, Bullmoose and Stop & Shop.

I bought a brand new pair of shorts, wore them for the 1st time today and low and behold there was a hole perfectly fit for my wallet to fall out of somewhere in the South Bay Home Depot. Fuck my life.

we practice right near there... if I find it, well... I always could use some savings from Daddy's.

Haha, you bastard.

The one good thing that has come out of this is that I finally have an excuse to use the money clip I've had for years...now I need to get some money to put in it. :/

you could whore yourself out to a bunch of chicks for $10/broad. Or a bunch of really fat chicks for $100/fat broad.

Haha, my girlfriend actually asked me if she should prostitute to get all the money back. I consented, only if she does stomping. Ow.

how much?

i mean...

how much?

Did you also lose the ability to send emails?

lolburn

oof.....the worst thing is losing the cash. credit cards, drivers licenses, insurance cards, rewards cards and things can be replaced fairly easily with only moderate to annoying amounts of hassle. if you were unlucky/stupid enough to have your soc sec card in there, then you're pretty fucked....sorry.

ive had my wallet lost or stolen a couple times and have 'misplaced' my drivers license on way too many occasions. Shit seriously can turn an amazingly awsome day into the most complete shit ever.

I feel for ya man.

I can say that i would rather someone charge up $1000 on my credit card then steal even $50 cash. Credit you can always dispute or cancel and usually if someone's dumb enough to use a stolen credit card in their own home town....they're gonna get caught. (which saved my ass once) But cash, fuck that is the worst shit ever.

I'll buy you taco bell at NEDF.

You should "sue the pants off" of whomever you bought those shorts.

thats probably one of the worst places to lose your wallet.. youre not getting it back.

hah i could see a lawsuit like that actually getting somewhere.

MFR v Clothing Retailer:
Plaintiff asks for compensation from lost revenue, pain and suffering, undue distress and requests damages of $20 million dollars, a new really cool looking wallet, free shorts for life, and a gift card to taco bell

Haha, thanks Derek. I was unlucky enough to have my Social Security card in there. Clearly I'll never do that again; I don't usually have it on me but I needed it the other day and forgot to take it out. And I hear you on the cash over credit thing...especially since I had hundreds of dollars that needed to go towards paying people back today and tomorrow. I'm going to be shuffling through all of my belongings to find shit to sell. Bah.

I'm taking these shorts back to Sears and I'm going to asphyxiate the cashier with them. I don't give a fuck. How are they going to get me if I don't have a name or an address anymore? FUCK YEAH.

The defendant would probably try to settle for a new pair of shorts and a huge FUCK YOU.

if you do a sue, i require a 10% finders fee.

oh no that social sec card is going to be the worst thing to get fixed. definately get ahold of one of the major creditors and put a fraud alert out on your name.

So do you want one of the pockets and a knuckle?

i need belt loops

"Yeah, that's me. It was before I started tanning. A lot."

My mom had this happen to her, by a girl she worked with. The girl signed up for a bunch of credit cards with my mom's info and then took off. It didn't take long for them to catch up with her, though. Shit's fucked up. I long for the days when if you wanted someone's money you reached out and touched someone. With a brick.

anyone see the movie teeth?

in all seriousness, if you havn't done so already i would definitely call up your credit card companies and put a hold on your accounts. don't cancel your cards yet, just put a hold on them. then file a police report.

where i work we had a guy buy stuff with a stolen credit card and the police came to the store within about 4 minutes just in time to get a full description of the guy and the car he was driving. they nabbed him just up the road. all because the women who's card it was filed a police report and let her card company know. they saw it was used....called the local police and bam they got the guy.

of course this all took place in the same town. if you've got to deal with different police departments then i doubt you'd have as much luck.

YESSSSSSSS best film in ages

Dude this sucks. I actually feel sorry for you and I seldom do that.

Mark Richard's credit card number?
On the subscription list for BlackBitches.com?

It's more likely than you think.

Luckily I've gotten in touch with allllll the credit card companies I have accounts with and just had them cancel everything. I actually don't want new cards, I just want to pay off the debts without accruing more, so that's taken care of. Tomorrow I'm heading to the social security office (luckily one is right on the way home from work without making any detours) and calling the registry to find out if I'll actually have enough money for a new license, haha. Some have told me it's only $15, some have told me it's more like $50. This could not have happened at a worse time, but oh well, that's life.

You know what they say; when God gives you lemons...
FIND A NEW GOD!

Hey guys, anyone want some prescription drugs at reasonable prices?

so the clerk cut a hole in your shorts so a crackhead could assume your identity? i'm go ahead and write a composted song about it. i'll think of a title

i'm also gonna go ahead and pretend i dont know who you are and treat said crack head like my best friend. just like what happens in bad lifetime movies

Snoodling time my little Baklava!
Did I tell you that I started TYAG?

THANX 4 THA NEW JORDANS MARKFUCKINGRICHARDS!

P.S. I took care of yo girlz pic, busted all ovah dat shit.

My wallet came in the mail today; all of the money was gone, which fucking blows, but at least no one has tried to assume my identity. Good thing I still haven't gotten a new license, cuz I need that $20, haha.

Hey Mark can i borrow twenty bucks?

Eat a bag of dicks.

just dicks not fat dicks or a big bag of dick or a big bag of fat dicks.

was there a return adress?

You can eat whatever variety of dicks in a bag you'd like, Sean! Just as long as you save some for me. MMMMMM.

The return address was something like "Mail Recovery Dept." and there was no postage, just a stamp that said "Postage OK." So, I'm guessing some lucky bastard found my wallet, took all the money, then just dumped it into a post office mailbox and the post office sent it off to me. Everything in my wallet is there except my money. Sonsabitches.

I'm only saving some if you let me borrow twenty one dollars and seventy-five cents.

consider it paying out a reward for the wallets safe recovery.

Hah, fuck a reward. I got bills to pay nugga.

so how much money did you lose?

More than I should be carrying around in my wallet, that's for damn sure. In the hundreds.

oh i thought it was only like 20 bucks. thats sucks dude

Hah, nope. I wouldn't have been so pissed if it was $20. I was going to be paying some debts I owed to people in person that day and the 2 days after it, so I had all my money except $30 in there.

I has a $150 name, now. I has your banners?

Banners? LOL WUT

I lost my identity too, but, in a different regard. Since then, I've been getting black out drunk, waking up at random places I've never been, and have been fucking random women with no rubbers. I hope I get some disease so I can give it to some slut. Besides, all women are whores except your mother.

yeah right, you didnt have a fistfull of money

i just lost my wallet last week too, what a horrible feeling. luckily there wasn't any cash in it, nor my license. only my ATM card, which i was able to cancel before someone got a hold of it.

No you haven't.