The recently crowned "Best Doom Band In New England" by Pitchfork Magazine, who also recently came out as openly homosexual, has officially been trolled off of the infamous metal website Return To The Pit. Despite being unable to hang, roll with the punches, and take a joke, gay bandmembers Tim Riley and OctoJosh said that they have "no ego" regarding the mass trollings that led to their fleeing the site with their asses even more sore than usual and their tails firmly tucked between their legs.

In acknowledgment of their flagrant cowardness and utter naivete, the band announced that they are still "totally serious". They are currently in negotiations with Century Media, Relapse Records, and Metal Blade, pending the release of their debut EP.

About their future plans, the members commented, "we were really out of our element on RTTP, and we think we'll be a little more up to the challenge the next time we're made the laughing stocks of an internet metal community."

Fucking hilarious